Murstein Family Fund

When Bernard and Nelly Murstein married in 1954, Bernard agreed that Nelly’s career would be just as important as his career. That was a rare position to take in the days before “women’s lib.”

Now Nelly has set up the Murstein Family Fund, to honor Bernard and to help women who may be struggling toward careers.

With Bernard’s support, she repudiated the then-current prejudice that women who had young children and worked toward a profession were selfish and not good mothers.  He pointed out that their two daughters would take her as a role model, which they did.

When Nelly came to Connecticut College as a professor of French, Bernard--whose field is psychology--obtained a position nearby at the University of Connecticut.  Later he joined Nelly at Connecticut College. They remained there for close to forty years,  despite several offers to Bernard that would have more than doubled his Connecticut College salary, because those offers did not guarantee that Nelly would have a position as good as hers at Conn.  “As a result,” she says, “I’ve had a very fulfilling career.”

Her mother, left alone at age 30, raised five children and a younger brother by working at three simultaneous jobs: university teaching, high school teaching, and private tutoring.  Inspired by her mother’s and her struggles, and later by her daughter Danielle’s advocacy of women’s issues, Nelly sought a way to contribute something to those less fortunate than herself. She truly believes that she is her “brother’s keeper.”

A former student and later president of Connecticut College, Claire Gaudiani, suggested philanthropy as a way of contributing.  That helped Nelly decide to set up the Murstein Family Fund, whose purpose is to aid struggling women prepare to return to the work force after an absence. Their reasons for the absence (perhaps abusive relationships, other family problems, or prison ) are not as important as their desire to better their situation.

Nelly chose the Southeastern Community Foundation as the right vehicle for the fund because, she says, “I trust the organization. The people there are competent, and they are involved. I believe in what they are doing.” She adds that the foundation knows the community and the organizations serving the women who need help.

The donor-advised fund is part of the Women’s and Girls Fund initiative, which many of her colleagues and friends support.  Nelly hopes that she can get to know some of the fund recipients and hear how they are doing. 

Bernard and she have realized their dreams of working at the same locale and achieving their academic and social goals.  They hope that the fund will grow, and that friends and relatives will mark special occasions with gifts to the fund to help put recipients on the path toward realizing their own goals.